Intentional Creativity Teacher/Coach, Visionary Artist, & Reiki Master
This year I decided to take on Intentional Creativity Teacher Training through Color of Woman. Little did I know how it would change how I would see myself and my "business". In the world of business, you are supposed to focus on something specific and have a target market. Like most healers and creatives, we want to help everyone in whatever way that is needed. Even with my new focus on channeling, readings, and channeled art, I knew I was still skirting and dancing around being specific. I just didn't want to settle in on specificity. I know my guides are extremely frustrated with me. The human will can be very strong and it takes making a conscious choice to look at something in a new way. Even then the mind tends to say "why do you want to do that?” The Universe will always find a way to surprise you and move you toward what you’re called to do.
Taking the teacher training has allowed me to take a different approach because the process involves intentional creativity. It means stepping outside of my mind (left brain) and stepping into visioning, free writing, and painting; letting the soul and right brain take over to inform me. In painting, I have to step out of the world of logic and into the world of symbols and the unknown; putting on the canvas what I wish to - no need to - let go of first. Then I put down what wants to come forward and be expressed and created in my life.
It is cathartic to make marks on a canvas in ways that represent the "letting go", and to put an image down that represents what I desire is transformational. I thought my business was about creating Tokens of Spirit, Healing Paintings, and doing readings for people; what has come up for me in the last few days is leading me to something more specific. I can still do the afore mentioned things but now my purpose is more focused in working primarily with women. I have to say that, I have never felt comfortable working only with women, especially in circle. I know now where it stems from, and it is the reason the shift occurring is so important.
I've done a lot of healing and forgiveness on this issue since then. Both my parents are gone and now through ancestry.com, I have learned a little bit more about my origins. I've connected with someone who is very closely related to me, close enough to be my birth mother or her sister. She verified the story of my birth and added a few more details. It was exciting news and yet, I had to ask myself "why now?". Why is this "mother" thing showing up. Then my Muse's words stirred something in my mind, heart, and soul. It became clear that my first 50 years of life were my training ground in healing the "Mother Wound" in the family I grew up in, and for myself. It is the wound all women experience, to some extent, because of how they were raised and growing up in a patriarchal society.
I have healed that karmic connection to that wound with my mother, my birth mother (in visioning), and I raised my daughter differently than I was raised because I was determined not to create the same wounding. I was also reminded of all the female friends I had growing up, and even in adulthood, and the challenges they faced in regards to this wound. I always found it interesting that after I would go through something with my Mom, I would shortly thereafter be helping a friend deal with something similar.
What my Muse is pointing to is; while I have had to heal the "Mother Wound" in my own way, it is now time for me to help other women do the same, in a big way by helping them find the way that works for them. As I mentioned earlier about feeling uncomfortable in women's groups, this was because of the way I was 'wounded'. And yet, only by healing the wound do we heal ourselves, our relationships, and the world at large. Working with women was something I didn't want to acknowledge because that would mean I would have to heal that last little part of myself relating to honoring the warrior goddess within.
There is no denying it now, this teacher training is about that for me - to finally honor the last woman in my personal story - me. In doing so, I step into helping women heal their wound as well. I will say this, there is great relief when forgiveness and compassion allow for the letting go of all the crap in the wound. Being able to know who I am, not who others make me to be, creates confidence and courage to shine and express my own unique authentic voice. Living this life with a quiet strength and a forgiving compassionate heart make living it a Joy.
Stepping into helping women heal the Mother Wound , in whatever aspect that is for them, is scary, and makes my stomach lurch. Yet, it is a good scared. I'm ready to dive in with the women and help them find, reconnect to, hear, heal, and express their own unique authentic voices. So there will be changes happening on this website and blog to reflect this, as I create ways to share this process with all of you. Stay tuned as this journey continues. I will write more about the “mother wound”, how that may manifest for you, and the ways available to begin healing it.
Blessings, Love, and Golden Light to You All.
Debra Lynn – Intentional Creativity Teacher, Visionary Artist and Certified Life Coach.