Intentional Creativity Teacher/Coach, Visionary Artist, & Reiki Master
There is a formula I use when a strong feeling pops up unexpectedly to keep myself from acting in a way that goes against the kind of person I wish to be. You see, I feel I alway have a choice either to react or respond in any given moment in my life. Being a channel and empath, I tend to pick up a lot of feelings of which many are not even mine; and these are on top of whatever I am experiencing personally. Before I learned to pay attention to these unexpected moments, energy that wasn't mine would find a way to attach themselves to a part of my own story that I had yet to heal. In the process of learning how to pay attention and heal my own story, I came up with the formula above.
Before I go in to how I use the formula above, I want to share a bit of scientific information about feelings and how they arise. There is a brain scientist, Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor (“My Stroke of Insight”) who had a massive stroke on the left side of her brain. In her book she talks about what it felt like, and the experience of seeing the world from only the right side of her brain. Besides her TED talk, I had the opportunity to listen to her speak at a spirituality event several times., as she gave us a run down on how the brain works and feelings arise.
In each hemisphere of the brain is a little group of neurons called the amygdala, and each one is about the size and shape of an almond. The amygdala is important in letting us know if we are safe or unsafe, and is connected to our fight or flight response. From my experience, I have noticed that when I feel safe, positive feelings like love will arise and range from like and contentment to happiness and joy. When I feel unsafe, feelings based on fear will arise such as anger, rage, and anxiety. Now the thing to note here is, there is nothing wrong with feelings. It is the way the body tells us something is up.
One thing that Dr. Taylor mentioned in her talks was about how feelings arise and how long they last. When the body sends a signal for a feeling, chemically, it takes less than 90 seconds to move through the body and then it is gone. The only reason it may linger is, if we start attaching thoughts to it, and these thoughts can be positive or negative depending on the feeling and past experiences. Now this had me thinking.
I had gone through some traumatic moments in my life relating to my family and bullying in school, and all of these situations left a mark on me in feelings, thoughts and images to help create my story. These thoughts were about how I would see myself and feel about myself, add to that the images/memories of the situations and whenever I would feel a certain way, a certain story would pop up. So, I decided to try something new. Because I grew up with a mother who was very reactionary, I new I wanted to be different. I wanted to be a different kind of person in my relationships than she was. I knew that part of how I would react would have do to with conditioning, having grown up in that environment (the Pavlov’s Dog Theory) and I wanted to change that conditioning and live from my authentic self.
The first thing I have learned to do now is to check in and see if what I am feeling is mine or not. If it is energy I've picked up from someone else, then I deal with it in one way (I'll write about that another time). If what I am feeling is mine, if it is strongly connected to my story, then I go through a process to sort it out, look at each component of the equation, and then do whatever I need to do to release it, if that is necessary.
The important thing to know here is, feelings, emotions, and images, are not good or bad. They are just energy. It is what you do with them that is important. Taking the 90 seconds to feel rather than run away from a feeling is the first step in taking conscious actions rather than reacting to life.
Next time I will write about how I go through my process and some of the instances where I have used it. I hope you find this interesting. Please comment and let me know what you think. I will be taking a break for the weekend. I hope you have a pleasant one.
Love, Blessings, and the Golden Light of Grace to You. Have a Glorious Day!
Debra Lynn – Intentional Creativity Teacher, Visionary Artist and Certified Life Coach.